i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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