i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
