I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
