there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
