smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
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I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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