Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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