i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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