you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
