ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You need a sexual gate keeper
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
