google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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