what day is it and did you see me today?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
