I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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