I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
