You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
