The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize