Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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