allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize