Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
