Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's like heaven, but drunker
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
