Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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