508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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