I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
do herpes really smell.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
