my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
