I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
