Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
