it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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