I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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