if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
