Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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