Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
