apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
