Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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