drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
