I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
