i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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