I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
