Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
