do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
