dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
