just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
