Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
