So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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