I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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