Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
