FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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