I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
