I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize