Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
