hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
