hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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