So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
