I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
