i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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