He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
