you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
