screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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