Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
