I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
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Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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