Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize