OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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