in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
