There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
