Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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