Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
id be glad to
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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