i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.