I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.