Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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